Screenwriting: Lean Writing

Yesterday I covered character introductions; what works, what doesn't work and why. As promised, today I plan to cover the "Too Wordy, Too Long" issue that so many writers meet right off the bat when trying to lasso that elusive unicorn that is screenplay writing.

Keeping Your Writing Lean & To The Point
Nearly everything you'll learn about screenwriting will be something essential. There's nearly no piece of screenwriting knowlege that is less important or less vital than another piece. It's all very crucial. It's so crucial that every single mark you make on the page must be there for some very specific reason.

Don't let that scare you. You can do it. It just takes a lot of practice, a lot of studying and a lot of concentration.

We keep our screenplays lean for various reasons. One of the most predominant reasons being that scripts must be a certain length. A spec script (those of which are written by unrepresented writers who are trying to break into the industry) needs to be between ninety to one hundred ten pages. I think one hundred twenty is max, but just try to keep it between aforementioned brackets.

So what is 'lean writing' and how do we achieve it? The best way to put it into perspective is by saying that what novelists do is the exact opposite. While an author who writes a novel must elaborate and embellish their work to the fullest because of the format it is presented in, (novels work off of our personal imaginations with throrough descriptions for sights, smells, feelings, etc) a screenwriter must used condensed to-the-point style descriptions so that they may be interpreted by a director so that it may be filmed.

In a way, screenplays are not completely unlike instruction manuals. They dictate the technical formula for the story to the production crew who takes on the project. They don't tell the reader how the character feels, or how a the characters perceive the story around them; they express it through the persona of that character, reactions, their situations and choices.

So let's get right into some examples.

Example A:

Molly walks cautiously into the theatre. She feels threatened and

alone, scared, but is forcing bravery. She looks all around her,

searching for Trevor, knowing that he is hiding from her.

From the darkness, Trevor is watching, waiting for her.

He has a vengence and he plans to kill Molly. He's wearing the

same black trench coat that he wore when he killed David and

Sally, so it's obvious that he's planning to kill Molly as well.

ERRR. Wrong. So what's wrong with it?

1. "Molly walks cautiously into the theatre"
This is ok, saying that her walk is a cautious one. Why? Because we can detect a cautious walk when we see one. So, this sentence is go because it can be filmed.
2. "She feels threatened and alone, scared, but is forcing bravery"
Here's where it gets off track. Don't tell your reader how the character feels. Normal movie goers don't read the script when they're interested in a movie. The go to the theatre, or they rent or buy the dvd/vhs/etc. The readers of a script will be the people who are on the crew that will bring the story to life. So, a director does not need you to tell him how that character is feeling because he should already be able to imagine it. An actress surely doesn't need someone telling her how to portray her character (they get a little egotistical about this, as they should-- the acting part is their craft). And, a producer is the last person you want to tell "Molly feels scared" because that's going to scare him-- into thinking that you're an amature and have no idea how to write a good script.
3."She looks all around her, searching for Trevor, knowing that he is hiding from her."
Again, don't tell us what she thinks or knows.
4."From the darkness, Trevor is watching, waiting for her. He has a vengence and he plans to kill Molly."
This is not a novel. Don't give us a play by play of what should already be somewhere further down the page. You're not trying to build suspense... or you shouldn't be, anyway.
5."He's wearing the same black trench coat that he wore when he killed David and Sally, so it's obvious that he's planning to kill Molly as well."
Now, as far as describing what a character is wearing, if you read yesterday's installment, you might already know that physical descriptions of characters aren't always needed (there are exceptions... I'll go over that again).

By this point, you should have a good understanding of what is wrong with the example shot info. Let's try fixing it up, the right way.

Example B:

Molly enters the theatre with caution. She quickly scans her surroundings.

Above, Trevor stalks her from a dark alcove, waiting to strike.

Alright! Condensed like concentrated orange juice-- just the vital elements. And, look how much space you saved! This is KEY.

By using the above, you've managed to cut seven lines from your script (which would only represent a couple of seconds on the screen) back to TWO. Anyone, screenwriter, novel writer, or even an english teacher should be able to see why this example is correct and why the previous one is wrong based on these comparisons. It's just that simple.

As for what "Trevor" was wearing, (his special trench coat fer killin') it wouldn't be completely wrong to work this in at some point, if it is absolutely essential to some aspect of the plot. If not, then it should be left to the director to decide that "Trevor" has a certain signature look for his rampages.

There's always an exception to the rule, but for the rules of screenplay, you'll have to do a lot of learning in order to make a call on what rule exceptions are and which ones are ok. I might discuss that in a later installment.

I hope you'll check out the next installment, as I'm going to be talking about formatting basics and requirements.